STRUGGLE DAY 2

At this moment feeling good ,listening “peaceful music” Yesterday had very rough time to get sleep went to bed at around 1 am and the time last i checked my mobile until I was not slept is 2:30 am and then I don’t remember when I went to sleep and woke around 8:30 am and right now I am staying with my brother he works and he is married .It has been a month I am here .Earlier I was at my home. And I came here to do some study as I am a graduate finished my college and it has been 4 years and so today i studied a bit but most of the time I faked or pretended that I am studying in front of my sister-in-law it is not that I don’t want to study but when you have a very little sleep there is a constant headache so you can’t study properly and on top of that mind is always busy creating its own negative store but most of the time I manage to motivate myself and study a bit . And best part is that I am still alive and breathing the air . Had a very few talks with “P” ❤ my true love and just talked with her at around 11:15 pm and wished her a GOOD NIGHT and by the way we are now just friends. And as usual yesterday my mind was not calm and had to concentrate hard to sleep and at that moment my only intention is to get lucky and have a easy sleep with no struggle and in past four years I hardly remember the day I slept without struggling. And I usually notice that during at night when going to sleep my mind becomes most restless MY OWN MIND BECOMES MY ENEMY . My mind automatically remembers the situation or actions I did and it analyses and creates its own story in a negative way. And due to all these negative analyzation my mind becomes agitated and I lose my sleep. And hence the struggle to sleep begins. During the earlier days or at the beginning for about many months I used to have no sleep NOT AT ALL sometimes luckily I used to sleep like for 3 or 4 hours and that would be like heaven for me or you can call it the happiest moment that i would get and the next morning I used to feel happy thinking that at least I had some sleep. At that mty mind was in a state of confusion but i didn’t lose my mind and i was in desperate need to have some sleep but this brain was in at no state to take rest . But now I usually sleep for about 4 or 5 hours daily and sometimes I sleep for 7 hours but it happens very rare . and ok now its 12 :30 am I am planning to sleep .Lets hope for the best . I hope me to get an easy less struggle sleep.Never let the Negative side of the mind lead you it always put you in trouble and whenever such negative thinking arises you just say to yourself I DON’T need to believe you. And LET GO… GOOD NIGHT GUYS LETS MEET TOMORROW.

unsplash-logoAziz Acharki